On Mission

I feel a lot of guilt about my failure to get out and serve in the community more. Social missions are very important to me--namely, issues of poverty, hunger, homelessness, people's lack of access to affordable health care, etc. I try to put my money where my mouth is in supporting ministries focused on those causes, and politically, I vote and advocate in ways that I feel benefit those Jesus called the "least of these." But I feel negligent in not putting more of my time and physical energy toward those causes.

The lure of my family and home are so strong (and my free time so limited) that I have trouble committing to any regular volunteer schedule. Just as I try to give to those who beg from me on the street, I try to say "yes" when invited to serve somewhere for just one period of time, without signing away my precious two evening hours of "Kate-time" on any long term basis. (I have come to understand in recent years why the Apostle Paul and the Catholic Church even today advocate singlehood for the most devoted servants of God!) But I know I am called to do more. I just don't know what.

Several months ago, I begged God to lay a mission opportunity in my lap, and promised to say "yes." Soonafter that, I heard about an opportunity to serve at a Costa Rican orphanage for a week, and I immediately responded to express my interest. As the trip planning progressed, however, things just didn't feel right and I backed out. (That is not to imply there is anything untoward about the organizers of that trip; I just wasn't feeling comfortable about it.) Though my concerns felt reasonable, after my prayerful promise, I felt like I was explicitly refusing God's call and proving myself a fraud.

A few weeks later, my boss (who would soon be leaving for another position) called me into his office and asked me to take over a project he'd been shepherding--the Find Your Way Home prison tour. I wrote about it here, when I designed a benefit concert poster for the tour. The tour visits women's prisons around the country, delivering a message of hope from author and Episcopal priest Becca Stevens and graduates of the Magdalene program, which helps former prostitutes and addicts recover and live a healthy and whole life. (Becca Stevens is an Abingdon author, and we are sponsoring the tour along with the Cal Turner Family Foundation, so that's why my boss was so actively involved in this.) Their message shares with incarcerated women two principles: "love is the most powerful source for social change, and women can begin to create their own communities of healing wherever they are." (Those are Rev. Stevens' words.) I had been interested in and envious of the opportunity my boss had to travel with this group and be a part of this amazing ministry since the tour began in January. And now, for the final two stops of the tour, I get to be part of it as well.

The first of those two is this coming weekend--when I would have been on that mission trip to Costa Rica.

We'll be in Houston, where Rev. Stevens will speak at St. John's Downtown Church (a United Methodist congregation led by Rudy Rasmus) and then she and the Magdelene women will speak at a nearby women's prison the next day. I'm told it will be an amazing experience and I'm excited to be a part of it.

In Sunday school a couple weeks ago, we were talking about the death penalty, and someone said "You know, we can talk about these issues theoretically all we want, but Jesus said we should be out visiting those in prison." And I thought "wow--I actually get to do that." It's harder these days than it was in the days of Jesus or even John Wesley to go into a jail and visit with prisoners. There is a lot of security clearance, etc. But I have the opportunity to go into prisons and bring comfort and hope to troubled women. True, my role is more organizational--I won't be speaking myself--but I still feel honored to be a part of it.

This week, I got another e-mail about an international mission opportunity--a trip to Mexico to work on sustainable agriculture and combat hunger and poverty in rural Mexico. "Could I, should I, sign up for that?" I thought, always feeling like I need to do more and put my principles into practice. (And wow, that sounds like an amazing ministry!) I looked at my schedule, though, and wouldn't you know...?

It is the same week as the other prison tour visit I get to be a part of--to Los Angeles in September.

I still feel called to be more hands-on in serving the poor, and hope I can find the personal motivation to sacrifice some of that precious family-time. But this opportunity for prison ministry and the coincidence of the dates of those mission trips I heard about helps me to relax a bit and trust more that God will guide me to the places I should be serving.

What causes and ministries do you feel most called to?
How do you find (or make) time to serve others amidst the other responsibilites of daily life?

He Won!

My dad, who went into public service several years ago after a great career in finance, won the primary for the Louisville Metro Council District 19 seat last night! He has been walking door-to-door in his district for the last four months, and all his hard work paid off!

He wore out a couple pairs of shoes and dodged swooping hawks as he knocked on 7,600 doors and chatted with the 2,600 folks who answered. Kate and I hit the streets with him and Mom when we visited in February.

Way to go, Dad! We are so proud of you!

I-Day Come and Gone

True, there are still a few hours left in the day, so it's possible I could still be able to tell our little girl, "I went into labor with you the day Barack Obama was inaugurated," but the likelihood of today being her birthday is now pretty much nil. Ever since we found out our due date back in June, we thought it would be totally awesome if she was born on Inauguration Day. I started having some really strong cramps as all the dignitaries were filing in (my workplace projected the Inauguration on the big screen) and I really thought contractions would follow, but alas, the cramps went away, and I've only continued to have the painless "practice" contractions I've had for weeks. Oh well.

It's not really a big deal, of course. Her birthday--whenever it arrives--will be a far bigger deal to us even than this historic, momentous event in our nation's history. I'm getting REALLY antsy to have her, though, and passing this day just compounds the frustration and longing. I imagine I'll feel this even moreso on Friday, our due date!

Because I was so convinced she'd be early (and just because I'm so into planning and organizing), I find I have very little left to do at home or at work, so it's hard to focus on anything except her pending arrival. I'm trying to trick myself into not worrying about it anymore by telling myself "okay, she's going to be late. Don't even expect her to get here before next week." I highly doubt my little trick will work, though.

We have our 39 1/2 week appointment tomorrow, so we'll see what the doctor says!

Christians and War

I took the Belief-O-Matic quiz on Beliefnet.com last week. It had been several years since I last took it, and I was curious to see if my "true religion" had changed recently. Sure enough, it still had me as 100% Orthodox Quaker (followed by moderate-to-liberal Protestant and moderate-to-conservative Protestant in the mid-90% range). The quiz's perception of my ideal tradition is mainly based, it seems, on my answers to the last two questions of the quiz, which deal with abortion and war. I rank both matters "high" in importance, and respond to both questions in the strictest pro-life manner possible, rejecting the taking of human life in any circumstance, be it before birth or in response to international conflict. It's hard to find Protestants who agree with me on both those issues, but I (like orthodox Quakers and many Catholics) feel that is the view Jesus would espouse.

In all my pre-baby reoganizing and decluttering, I found a clipping with a quote I love from Will Willimon, who is currently bishop of the North Alabama conference of the UMC. The quote is from a Palm Sunday sermon he delivered as dean of Duke University Chapel sometime between 2001 and 2005, I would guess. I could offer my own commentary, but it would probably be rambling and ineloquent. So, I'll let Will's statement speak for itself. Suffice it to say, I think he's dead on.

"During the last presidential election, there was debate about Senator Lieberman. 'He's a devout Jew,' some said. 'He keeps kosher. If we have a national crisis and need to go to war on a Saturday, could we count on Lieberman?' Nobody said, 'George Bush is a Methodist, Al Gore is a Baptist, don't these Christians have some funny ideas about violence? Can we count on them to kick butt when we need it?'

"Nobody asked because, well, when it comes to such issues, you can't tell the worshipers of Caesar from the devotees of Jesus."

A Word on Edwards

I was really sad to hear yesterday that the rumors and allegations about John Edwards' infidelity were true. I was a big fan during his primary run, loving his focus on issues of poverty and health care. It is definitely disappointing to see that he succumbed to the temptations of power as so many other politicians have.

I have to say, though, that it is refreshing to hear Edwards acknowledge flat-out what everyone already knows about public figures who can't keep it in their pants: that power and success, people's cheers and votes of confidence lead to a self-delusion that they are above the rules. Edwards humbly said that his campaigns for Senate, V.P., and this latest presidential primary "fed a self-focus, an egotism, a narcissism that leads you to believe you can do whatever you want. You're invincible. And there will be no consequences."

I've never heard a public figure caught in adultery actually acknowledge that it was self-centeredness (what I would say is the root of all sin) that caused him to stumble. While certainly disappointed in his actions, and bothered (but not surprised) that he lied months ago in efforts to keep his affair private even after he had come clean with Elizabeth, I am pleased with the humility and sincere remorse evident in his public confession yesterday.

While you may never hold public office again, John, please keep working for the causes you believe in. There is plenty of work left to do.