Updates

I've been thinking a lot lately about why I blog. Or rather, why I feel like I should blog, since I don't very often! I'm long past the notion of trying to build readership and earn money off of affiliate links or anything. When I have something a little deeper I want to share about parenting philosophies or foster care, it's nice to have this space in which to write it.

But mainly, I just like to share parties I throw and crafts I make and cute things my kids are doing. (Someone hold me accountable for sharing Kate's My Little Pony birthday party and the girls' shared sister room, please!) Some people like to pin those ideas, and that always feels good, but what's the point, really?

Then I think about the blogs I still enjoy reading. I read some of the big thinkers and writers in contemporary Christianity, people whose work is relevant to my work, but to be honest, I don't do that for fun. And I've grown quite tired of the lifestyle bloggers who share so many money-making sponsored posts. The blogs I enjoy most, the ones I hope to see when I pull up Feedly, are the moms and foster moms just sharing their lives. Whether I know them in real life or just feel like I do, I like seeing what they and their kids are up to, what their homes look like, how they spend their time. "Human interest" in its purest form.

And I suspect that's why anyone reads this blog. So in that spirit, here are some updates on each member of Team Kelley.

Matt:

Superdad!!

His big news of late is a new "appointment." That's what, in the United Methodist Church, they call a new pastoral assignment. (In the UMC, bishops assign pastors to churches within a certain geographic area; churches do not do their own search or calling of pastors.) So, in June, we'll be leaving Arlington UMC, where Matt was baptized 34 years ago and where we have served for the last four years, and heading to the Associate Pastor position Christ UMC of Franklin, where Matt was confirmed about 22 years ago! Having these prior personal connections to churches is not really something the bishop is concerned with, but they are nice coincidences that we enjoy. Since Matt grew up at Christ UMC and has so many family friends there, visiting there (as I have occasionally over the past ten years) has often felt like visiting my home church in Louisville—a church home away from home, if you will. Matt also just finished the first year of his Doctor of Ministry program!!

Kate:

Kindergarten is almost over, and it has been a great year. She enjoys school, and loves the independence of riding the school bus and getting up to her own alarm clock (sometimes). She's learned a lot and almost always loves doing her homework. They get the whole week's packet of "home fun" on Monday, with small assignments for each night, and she usually does the whole thing within twenty minutes of getting home on Monday. I wrote a year or more ago about Kate's perfectionism, and how she is sometimes reluctant to try things she may not do perfectly right away. This has been the case with reading out loud. She reads well, but obviously doesn't know every word in most books, so we have to beg and plead and bribe to get her to try. She doesn't have such anxiety when it comes to math, and eagerly asks us to quiz her on addition, subtraction, and lately even multiplication! (They aren't covering that in school yet, but somehow she got the idea in her head, and she gets the concept well enough to calculate products up to 25 or so!)

Kate is doing soccer this spring at the YMCA, and as much as my competitive girl likes scoring goals in practice, she is clearly a natural-born defender. Like most soccer teams this age, the kids tend to run around in a pack, kicking the ball in any old direction, but if the other team gets too close to her goal (i.e. on her half of the field), Kate will break away from the pack to run back and protect her goal. I was a back in field hockey, so it's cool to see Kate enjoying defense too. I made sure to praise her a lot when a goal scored by her teammate would not have happened without her kick further back on the field. She's still doing gymnastics as well, loves to roller skate, and is excited for a variety of camps we have her signed up for this summer: gymnastics, drama, and "invention" camp.

Claire:

Claire is still Mommy's little barnacle, so attached to me that she won't even let Matt pour her a cup of milk if I am in the vicinity. Still a combo of sweet, snuggly, serious, and silly, she can also throw fits with the best of them. The "terrible twos" are supposedly really the worst between 2.5 and 3.5, and Claire turned 3.5 a couple weeks ago. So those irrational fits over the type of cup I gave her or the order in which her shoes were put on will magically come to an end, right? Right.

She likes to color and play dress up, dollhouse, and pretend. She can write her name (preferring to spell it CLARIE, though). She even wrote it upside down once, such that it was readable from where I was standing, which I thought was pretty impressive. She's doing gymnastics now too, and has the cutest dance moves. She sings a lot too, whether it's a song from Frozen acted out with the girls' Anna and Elsa dolls, or just her running soundtrack of humming and nonsense lyrics while she's doing other stuff. (I'm so excited for the children's choirs at our new church!)

Selfie with Mommy at gymnastics

Both girls like to watch videos on Netflix a lot more than I would like, but it's fun to see all these '80s characters revived: My Little Pony, Care Bears, and Strawberry Shortcake. They were in a Magic School Bus phase too for a while (not a revival/recreation, but the actual old episodes, which explains why Kate vehemently insists Pluto—or Bluto, as she says it—is indeed a planet). They also just discovered "Okay Google" on our phones, and like to verbally search for things. It always thinks Claire says "Okay Doodle," though, and Kate doesn't quite get why searching for "family photos" doesn't just bring up pics of our own family. Searching for "Shake It Off" is most successful, and they love to watch that Taylor Swift video.

BGC:

Yes, she's still with us. As my college psych professor used to say, "Things always take longer than they do." Her future adoptive parents (who, if you see me on Facebook, tag us in their posts about "CLS"—Certain Little Someone—that's BGC) have been taking their classes and doing their home study and all that, so their approval as pre-adoptive foster parents will come through soon. (By next week, in fact--I've been sitting on this half-written post for quite a while.) They've been keeping her on the weekends and when we go out of town, so the official transition should be very easy. She's over 2 1/2 now, having been with us 21 out of her 31 months of life. Permanency won't happen for her before her third birthday (since she needs to be with her pre-adoptive parents six months before adoption can take place) but hopefully not too long after that. Would this calendar year be wishful thinking? You never can tell, the way the state moves. After about four months MIA, we finally got some news/had contact with her parents. These absences are close to the official definition of legal abandonment, but not quite, but termination of parental rights is pretty much a foregone conclusion. While sad, this will make her adoption a smoother process.

As usual, we are astounded by her development. She got her cochlear implants a month or two ago, and seems to enjoy hearing what's going on around her! She's learning more sounds now, and getting serious about speech therapy. And, after months (and months--even before the spica cast) of being able to stand but hating it, she's pulling up to a stand all by herself and even cruising around the coffee table! She'll walk while pushing our ottoman (more stability and resistance than a walker toy) or while holding someone's hands. She just might take her first independent steps before leaving us—I wouldn't be surprised!

Me and Baby 3:

We go together, you know, for another 20 weeks! (Halfway point is today!) Per usual with my pregnancies, I am still frequently sick, especially when in motion. So, working from home is a good thing, but travel and even the short drive up to Kate's school are precarious. When traveling to Chicago and NYC in the last couple months, I've gotten sick on planes, trains (well, the subway platform), busses, and automobiles. Something different about this pregnancy, which has made us think it could be a boy, is a total food aversion that I'm just now coming out of. Previously, I'd maybe feel averse to a very specific thing, for a period of time, but never so completely as in this pregnancy. For 2-3 months, I was avoiding coffee and most meat, but it went so far beyond specific foods to a total apathy and anxiety about food. Nothing sounded good, and then I'd feel so anxious leading up to meal times that I'd throw up, just because meals don't sound good or I don't know how I'll feel about the particular meal. As with my other pregnancies, fruit is most universally appealing and craveable. Nachos/burrito bowls (vegetarian) have kind of been a thing this time around. I had one awesome grocery trip at about 8 weeks, when my philosophy was "anything that looks appealing to Jessica goes in the cart." At that point, it was crab cakes and egg rolls and corn dogs and other random things. Now, the grocery list is "just the facts, ma'am, and don't even look at the meat section, or pretty much any food not pre-approved."

16 weeks or so? We need to do another one!

Nonetheless, I still always love being pregnant, mainly because it makes me feel so good about my body! Our "big" ultrasound is next Wednesday, and since Kate will be out of school by then, we're taking the girls to see Baby on the screen! Pretty much everybody (except me and Granna) is rooting for a boy, and I'm more or less cool either way. We aren't dead set on any names yet, but we'll figure it out soon, once we know Baby's sex.


And since I've been so bad about posting lately, here are a few more photos of what we've been up to:

Family fun at a carnival--both girls seen bouncing behind us

Matt and I went to NYC for respective work stuff.
We worked in some fun, like a stop at the "Big Gay Ice Cream" shop in Greenwich Village.

Before my author meetings one morning, I worked at the coffee shop across from Studio1A,
so I could see the Today Show filming!

The girlies on Easter

Family pic on Easter

Lots of play tea parties with their "sweet treats"

Backyard water play now that it's warm
(and now that the neighborhood pool opened, it's cool again!)

So that's what we've been up to. Next week will be a big one, with a meeting scheduled for BGC's official transition, and then our ultrasound the next day, which happens to be Kate's last (half) day of kindergarten, so let the summer begin!

Getaway to Charleston

Earlier this month, Matt and I took a little "just us" getaway to Charleston, South Carolina. I had been there before, but Matt never had, and we had a special plane fare voucher thing we wanted to take advantage of, so we decided it would be nice to have a little trip sans kiddos—the first since we've had kids! Sure, we've had an overnight to ourselves now and then, but it was the first actual vacation for just the two of us since going to NYC the month before conceiving Kate. (Now that I think of it, we went on a cruise while pregnant with her, but it wasn't quite the same!)

It was just three days, but we soaked up the lowcountry history and culture and fabulous cuisine—not to mention the sleeping in and late evenings out. (It's such a shock, one's first vacation with kids, to be confined to the hotel room by eight o'clock!) We walked the city by day, then took a late afternoon siesta before going to dinner around eight!


It wasn't exceptionally hot (just regular hot!), but very humid. We opened our hotel room curtains the first morning (after arriving after dark the night before) to see a torrential downpour. Fortunately it stopped by the time we finished breakfast, but the air was so wet, my camera lens fogged up constantly!

Our hotel was near the north end of the Museum Mile, which goes down historic Meeting Street, so we started there and just headed south with our map, pointing out the sites along the way and detouring to explore further when we wished. Our first real stop was the oldest synagogue in continuous use in North America. We're religion geeks, of course, and I especially love Judaica, so we stopped in for a tour. The stories about how this modern congregation has navigated the we've-always-done-it-this-ways of their 300-year history reminded us that all congregations have certain tendencies in common!

 

After walking through the old market, we had lunch at A.W. Shucks, and then continued along Museum Mile, stopping off to take in the Old Slave Mart Museum, on the site of Charleston's main slave market, established after 19th c. Charlestonians decided selling Africans publicly on streetcorners was uncouth! It was very interesting to learn more about the domestic slave trade. Maybe the most interesting fact was learning what a small percentage of trans-Atlantic captives were actually brought to the U.S.  Most ended up in the Caribbean and South America, and Brazil was actually the last to outlaw slavery.

Charleston is called the "Holy City" for the huge number of churches on this small peninsula. We walked through many of the church yards and cemeteries, and went inside a few that were open for visitors.

Finally, we made it to the south end of Museum Mile, the Battery, and looked at the colorful veranda-ed homes and out into the harbor.

Our feet were pretty sore by then, and the humidity was taking its toll, so after walking maybe halfway back, we finally found a trolley stop to hitch a free ride back to the hotel. As I mentioned, we enjoyed relaxing back at the hotel each evening before heading back out for dinner.

I hadn't realized what a "foodie" city Charleston is (though a restaurant-biz neighbor of ours did tell us he'd been down there for the Food & Wine Festival and recommended his favorite restaurant, High Cotton). Our favorite restaurant was the one practically next door to our hotel. Our flight from Charlotte on to Charleston was cancelled, so we ended up getting in five hours later than expected, and going to dinner at 10 p.m. our first night in town. We went to 39 Rue de Jean (fittingly located at 39 John St.) a fabulous French bistro. I had the duck confit, and it was amazing. The downside was that it made the subsequent great restaurants we enjoyed for the rest of the trip slightly less amazing.

Anyway, our second full day, we went out to Fort Sumter, which was Matt's must-do item of the trip. I'd been out there before (reminisce: MCC Revelations Choir Tour 1996!) but I appreciated the history and on-site museum a little more the second time around!

Back on the mainland, we had lunch at Sticky Fingers BBQ, notable to me for two reasons: (1) I'd eaten at the original Sticky Fingers in Charleston suburb Mt. Pleasant a few years back on an author visit, and (2) we buy Sticky Fingers sauce here at our local Kroger because it is one of only two brands I've found without high fructose corn syrup! (There was also a signed portrait of South Carolina-native Stephen Colbert there in the downtown Sticky Fingers!)

Our final day in Charleston we devoted to a few historic home tours: the Aiken-Rhett House and the Nathaniel Russell House. There are several great historic homes to tour in Charleston, and I haven't really discovered a favorite (in 1992, my family made sure to visit Calhoun Mansion, since some of "Scarlett," the TV miniseries sequel to "Gone With the Wind," was filmed there :) The plantations are great too, though we did not rent a car on this trip and just stayed in the downtown area the whole time.

With a flight to catch at 7:30 p.m., we spent the late afternoon soaking up the culture (sweetgrass baskets!) and relaxing in a park along the waterfront before having an early dinner of a few tapas and drinks during happy hour at the aforementioned recommended High Cotton.

After sitting on the runway a total of 90 minutes between our two flights and me swearing "it's just not worth flying anywhere!" we finally got back home, crashing into bed around midnight but getting to sleep in once again, since we'd so carefully planned for the grandparental babysitting to be at their house that night so we could relax just one more morning!

We sure missed our girls, of course (smiling wistfully at any small child we saw around Charleston or in the airports!) and were so glad to go pick them up that next day. They were glad to see us too and eagerly wore their souvenirs the next day to school—the dresses we bought for them in the old market, each embroidered with a palmetto, symbol of South Carolina!

VBS Week

Tonight is the final evening of Vacation Bible School, which I am directing, despite the fact that I have no experience besides being a very low-responsibility volunteer a few times in the not-recent past (like high school and college!) But I figured I'd take advantage of my WAHM-status to do more at church, and I can't resist an opportunity to both organize and theme-decorate (my two greatest skills!) so here we are.

It's gone well! We're doing Cokesbury's Everywhere Fun Fair theme, which I keep describing as "county fair meets world's fair," since it's carnival-type decor with some exposure to other countries as we learn how to love God and love our neighbors who live both near and around the globe!

We start each evening with the opening skit between me and the puppet, Godwin Merrifeather, and some great volunteers lead the music!

 Then the kids, in three groups, rotate around to crafts, games, Bible story, and supper.

The country themes get woven throughout the sessions, starting with a display up front during the opening gathering, and then have cultural elements in the crafts, games, and food—and even in the Bible story, a little bit! Here are my displays for Australia, Japan, Mexico, and Zimbabwe. (I've had to wonder, if other countries were doing a "USA" display, what would they put in it? Cowboy hats and cheeseburgers?)

Here's the United Kingdom—then dinner was fish (sticks) and chips, and Matt even wove the British theme into his Bible lesson by making his Innkeeper (telling the Good Samaritan story) into a Mr. Carson-type character!

What a creative hubby I have! One of the little girls, upon seeing him in the tux, stopped in her tracks and said, with great fanfare, "Mama-mia!" 

Here he is as Zack the Tax-Man (i.e. tax collector Zaccheus!)

It's been an exhausting week (don't forget several big work deadlines on top of getting my ducks in a row for each day of VBS!) and tonight it will all end with our Family Fun Fair, where parents can join their kids toward the end of the session for a carnival of games, fair-food, and a little performance of a few of the songs the kids learned. It's been fun, and I hope the kids have learned a lot too!

We Love Daddy!

Happy Father's Day to the wonderful father of my kiddos. Kate and Claire are so lucky to have such an awesome daddy!