Fighting the Battle against STUFF this Christmas

I often feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of STUFF in our house. For at least five years (my memory of life before kids is hazy) I have declared myself to be fighting a battle against all the stuff in my house. I confess, I usually call it the "War on Crap." But that sounds a little crass. Either way, by "stuff" or "crap," I'm not meaning to insult the quality of objects filling my house, much of which has been gifted to us—and increasingly, to our kids—by kind, generous, thoughtful people.

"Stuff" is the excess, the clutter, the unneeded and often unused things that fill our homes. Stuff doesn't just take up space, but energy as well as we maintain an increasingly cluttered space.

Judging from the number of articles I see to this effect on Facebook these days, and the response when I share them, I know I'm not alone. A lot of parents of young children feel this way. Kids aren't great at picking up after themselves, parents tire of picking up after them, and generous people are always eager to add to the collection of toys and other things, especially at Christmas. I've seen articles from the angle of how to purge the stuff once you have it, and I try to thin the herd as I can, but it's hard for me to part with things a loved one gave so kindly, and I'd rather find ways to free ourselves from the excess and consumerism in the first place, rather than enabling a "revolving door of stuff."

As one other mom asked me when I shared one such article, "how do you tell these generous people to dial it back a bit, without hurting their feelings?" I don't have a great answer. The time I've spent trying to get every word of this post right shows what a touchy issue it can be.

First rule of thumb, I don't say anything to the people outside our family (except on birthday invitations, when I've started saying "no gifts please"). I do tell my kids' grandmothers over and over how much the kids have already and how hard it is to keep the house neat with so much stuff, etc., but I also know how the giving of gifts is special for the giver as well as the receiver. So while I say, "Don't get them anything; they have enough!!" I know that is not realistic and that I need to make some reasonable suggestions.

Rather, I think suggesting alternatives to stuff-gifts is a good way to introduce new ways of gift-giving that kids love, parents can appreciate, and (in some cases) the giver can enjoy alongside the child. Things that won't wind up scattered all over the floor of their room—and every other room! Or, at the very least, bring a fun twist to things we need anyway.

So here is my list of non-stuff gifts one might consider this Christmas.

Experience Gifts

• passes to go roller skating or ice skating
• tickets to a kid-friendly concert, play, or sporting event
• restaurant date to a fun place like Rainforest Café or even a fast food place with a playground
• movie date with a big tub of popcorn
• gift card for an ice cream shop
• visit to a museum or science center
• registration for a season of soccer or a series of swim lessons
• subscription to ABCmouse.com or a magazine like Highlights
• ingredients for a recipe to make together
• seeds to plant and watch grow

Use-up-ables

• art supplies, bubbles, chalk
• supplies and instructions for a science experiment
• a fun food like the ingredients for s'mores or cookies the child can decorate
• stickers or temporary tattoos
• balloons
• a disposable camera
• a notebook and fun pen

Fun Necessities

• socks or tights with a fun pattern (even underwear if you're a close family member!)
• a light-up or character toothbrush
• lotion, body wash, or bubble bath
• hair accessories
• shoes or clothes
• room décor (a bulletin board, special pillow, or art for their wall)
• a cool box in which to house all their little "treasures"

And for the grown-ups...

• restaurant gift card
• gourmet food items (wine and cheese, a fancy dessert, etc.)
• free babysitting
• tickets to a concert, play, or sporting event
• mani/pedi gift card
• overnight at a hotel
• gift card for something they wouldn't ordinarily get for themselves

What do you get someone who already has too much?

Something they keep in their hearts and memories, not on their shelves.

The Kitchen Table #TBTStories

Throwback Thursday Stories, hosted by The Mom Creative.

Today: 1984. I was turning three.

I recently bought a new kitchen table and chairs. We just got all new kitchen cabinets and countertops too, so I definitely wasn't wanting to spend money on new furniture at the same time, but our old table and chairs were kaput. More accurately, just the chairs, which were falling apart underneath us.

You see, that dining set was my parents' first, purchased when they got married in 1973. It was in my house growing up until I was thirteen, when we moved to a new house and my mom upgraded to a new set. This one sat in the basement for a decade (a well-earned sabbatical after 21 years of service), until I had my first little apartment in grad school. It became mine and has graced Matt's and my kitchens in Nashville, Clarksville, and now back to Nashville.

The table itself and the two chairs in less-bad condition now reside in the playroom, where they will host many hours of puzzles, games, and homework in the years to come. I'm glad not to be tossing the thing entirely, because it has such sentimental value. Forty-one years of family dinners just me and my parents, afternoons of homework throwing my math book across it, and birthday celebrations like the one in the photo above, when I turned three, surrounded by my parents, all four grandparents (such a blessing to have them all live close by), and a great-aunt and -uncle who never had children of their own. This was the crowd that gathered every year on my birthday, and it was always so special.

I chose this photo because you can actually see the style of the chair around my little toddler body. I spotted a similar style when watching the movie American Hustle last night. Such a seventies style, and I won't forget it. We're upgrading and getting with the times now, but the memories made around such a simple thing as the kitchen table will continue to grow with my own kids.

12 Pics of Christmas

The Christmas season has been gone as long as it was here, so I guess it's about time I share some of the photos and activities of our family's celebrations. I'm limiting myself to twelve photos, though, so here are the essentials:

The Sunday before Christmas, which also happened to be Matt's parents' 40th anniversary, we took them to lunch and then went back to their house to open presents (since Christmas Eve was going to be so busy!) I typically do something memory-oriented for the girls' gifts to their grandparents—handprint mugs, a photo calendar, etc. This year, I made "memory keeper" boxes on PaperCoterie.com for the grandparents to keep cards, photos, and artwork from the grandkids.

 Christmas Eve, as expected, was jam packed, starting with our noon service at church, done in the style of our Sunday evening casual service, The Road. We offered kid activities so little ones could stay in the service. I printed manger coloring sheets (outline of the stable and star) for kids to color and add their nativity scene. And so the kids could have "candles" for the singing of Silent Night, I had supplies to help them wrap a glow stick in white paper and add an orange tissue "flame."

After that service, we went over to Granna and Opa's again for a light mid-afternoon meal and visiting with Matt's aunt and uncle, who were there as well. Love this pic of my girlies in their Christmas finery.

 

And this one of the whole family, including BGC. Kate determined that anyone not wearing red on Christmas Eve was on Santa's naughty list. Sadly, this meant that the only one on the naughty list was Uncle Gary, whose birthday we were also celebrating. What a way to treat the birthday boy, Kate! (Maybe Gary feels like I did on my sweet sixteen, when I decided on a pink theme instead of the usual red, white, and blue for my July 4th birthday!)

From there we went to a nearby nursing home where both of Matt's grandmothers reside, to visit with them a bit. They are both quite elderly and can't get out to join family celebrations elsewhere. I always think about how, when Matt and I got engaged, we both had three living grandparents. Then I lost one a few months before our wedding, and the other two just months apart in 2010. Matt still had his three until his grandfather died on our anniversary this past October. It was good to see the grandmothers this Christmas.

Then, it was back to church for the evening Christmas Eve service. Since the day had been so crazy and I'd had the girls to wrangle during the noon service, I cherished the opportunity to sit and celebrate the Incarnation with some presence of mind. Then we headed home to read "The Night Before Christmas" and set out milk and cookies!

 

We enjoyed Christmas morning with just our nuclear family, opening stockings and gifts, eating our traditional egg casserole and singing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus. (And by nuclear, I do mean nuclear, as BGC is a super-late sleeper and missed the morning festivities!) We got a Kindle Fire for the family.

After BGC got up, she got her own little present party, with gifts both from us and from an "angel tree" sort of volunteer gift giver DCS recruits. Kate and Claire loved helping BGC with her presents. We saved some for her to open when my parents arrived later, but then she was napping, so she missed it and had another private present party!

 

After getting dressed (the kids all in new outfits they'd been gifted) we went to the hospital to visit a church member. We hated that he had to spend Christmas in a hospital bed, and felt bad for the nurses that had to work, so we picked up doughnuts on the way to spread some cheer!

When we returned in the early afternoon, my parents arrived for their visit! We opened more presents, hung out and played, and enjoyed a nice dinner.

 

My parents stayed a few days, during which we saw a movie ("Saving Mr. Banks"—so good!), ate out, visited the Frist art museum's Norman Rockwell exhibit (and hands-on kid area, which Claire is enjoying in the pic below), and ice skating! 

Popi entertained the little girls on the bleachers while Matt, Mom, Kate, and I skated. The girls went back to my parents' condo with them for a sleepover that night, and I enjoyed a lot of scrapbooking time on our child-free morning!

I was determined to make sure the Christmas fun didn't stop with the 25th or with grandparent visits. For one example, "after Christmas" sales at Michael's made possible some fun Christmas crafts on the cheap!

So that was our Christmas. Whew! I'm glad I didn't decide to blog 25 pics of Christmas. I noticed that this is blog post #901 on The Parsonage Family, so maybe—despite my blog-aversion of late—I can resolve to hit the big 1000 this year! Hope your 2014 is off to a good start.

Playing Catch-Up: Thanksgiving

I don't know why I've been blog-averse lately. Averse to posting on my own blog, that is. I still love checking my reader and seeing what's up with everybody else!

It is such a wonderful, fun-filled time of year, though, I've got to share a bit of what we've been up to, even if I don't feel up to sharing anything insightful! So, here's Thanksgiving and the week or so before it.

 

 Made these little turkey sweets by frosting mini-brownie bites and sticking the last of the candy corn in them. The eyes are Nerds :0)

One morning in late November, we made waffles for breakfast, and I don't know why I was compelled to take pictures, but I managed to catch some of Kate's kooky antics.

 

For some reason, these pictures make a line from Miley Cyrus' recent appearance on SNL come to mind. Someone asks her, "What's up with sticking your tongue out like that all the time?" Miley responds, "I'm having a bunch of tiny strokes, yo."

For Thanksgiving, we went up to my parents' in Louisville. Popi made pine cone bird feeders with the girls, and we played with Legos (Duplos) a lot, and tried to avoid their mean cat who seems to resent my family for making ourselves at home in "her" space. I was around wayyy before you, Cali-Cat. 

 

Mom made a fabulous Thanksgiving dinner, of course, though right about the time it was ready, Kate conked out on the couch.

"What should we do with Big Sister, Mommy?"

We managed to get her up to eat a bit of dinner, and then the pumpkin pie she'd been talking about for weeks. We weren't quite sure she'd ever tried pumpkin pie, so the enthusiasm seemed premature, and sure enough, she did not like it.

 

BGC did not care for much of Thanksgiving dinner, either. Her feeding therapist suggested we try some of the creamy table foods that would be at Thanksgiving dinner, since she gags at any minor chunkiness to her food. She's 14 months old and still mainly eats Stage 2 baby food, thus the feeding therapy (among her many other therapies and doctor appointments—she has the busiest calendar of any one year old I know!) She did okay with the sweet potato casserole, but didn't just gag on mashed potatoes and corn pudding—she barfed all down her bib, twice.

Friday, Popi and I took Kate and Claire to see "Free Birds," which was very cute. Kate didn't like it because it didn't have any princesses. (Arggghh! It's like I'm fighting a losing battle against this Disney-girl culture!) Actually, though I intentionally chose "Free Birds" over "Frozen," I hear the latter is actually very good, so maybe we'll see that around Christmas. There was also a teeny bit of shopping on Black Friday, at about 5 pm, so it hardly counts.

Saturday, we helped Nala and Popi decorate their Christmas tree!

And then we toasted marshmallows and made s'mores around the firebowl before heading back to Nashville!

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving too, and that your Christmas (Advent) season is off to a beautiful start!

Long, Rainy, Patriotic Birthday Weekend

Like much of the south and midwest, we had a very rainy Fourth here in Nashville. It started Wednesday night when we were out to dinner with my parents, in town for my birthday (which is also the Fourth—such a fun birthday to have), and barely stopped until Sunday morning. Our plans for a holiday spent poolside, followed by an outdoor concert and fireworks show at a local park were totally blown to bits.

So, I did the only thing I knew to do. I got out every red, white, and blue craft supply I had, covered the dining room table with a thick picnic tablecloth, and let the girls go to town.

 

Claire insisted on wearing her bathing suit most of the day—bummed about the pool, I guess :0) but she had fun making handprint fireworks!

Kate did a handprint flag, then drew and colored a chili pepper (??) and then cut out a gazillion teeny stars from some scrapbook paper I had. I made tissue-paper fireworks and a pinwheel.

 

Later, all the family folks who had planned to go to the concert and fireworks came over to our house for an indoor picnic and birthday celebration.

Matt's mom's birthday is the fifth, so we often celebrate her as well.She's been wanting to do more scrapbooking, so I turned her on to Project Life! (Here I am animatedly explaining the card kits and all :0)

 

And I've been wanting to do some crafty sewing, so my in-laws equipped me to do that and more with this nice sewing machine! My parents gave me some fabulous organization pieces for my home office, so I'll share that once it's all put together. (My craft room and office are one and the same, so that room is a bit of a mess right now!)

 Rainy or not, my birthday long weekend is always a fun time!

Fun Stuff

We've been going, going, going lately, but I wanted to take a minute to share some of our family fun the last few weeks. 

Usually, our pizza comes out of the freezer, but I thought it would be fun to make our own one night. We did two pies—one with some veggies for Daddy and I, and one with just pepperoni and tomato slices for Kate. They were both delicious! 

I love these two shots of Matt with the girls:

The following day was Derby, which is a big deal for me as a native Louisvillian. We didn't have an official party this year, but made the essentials--mint juleps and Derby pie--and the grandparents and a couple friends all came over to enjoy the race.

I'm always the most excited person in the room, but thankfully my parents were there as well to share the thrill. Matt's parents were a little calmer, and our teenage guest (who, yes, is still with us after 6-7 weeks now) was a little skeptical of all the hype!

Claire is exercising her physical skills more and more these days, refusing to be carried up or down stairs (has to walk herself!), climbing playground ladders, and climbing up on the computer chair herself.

She also said her first sentence a couple weeks ago: "I see you!" She says it when playing peekaboo ("apaboo!") or peering through rungs of a chair or staircase. (She added "I don't know" just the other day.)

 And Kate, apparently, has taken up yoga.

For Mother's Day, we went out for fro-yo the night before, and the girls gave me their gift, which Kate picked out herself at Target: a pretty silver necklace with hot pink stones. (Though, as I said, Theresa is still with us, she has been spending at least part of each weekend with her older sister who will soon take custody of her.)

I'd celebrated with my mom on Friday before she headed back to Louisville, so Sunday, we went to lunch with Matt's parents. (We started outside and moved inside since it was cool out, thus the two settings of these pics.)

And, super-cool yesterday, we attended the graduation of a youth in our church, at which the FLOTUS spoke! Yes, Michelle Obama was the commencement speaker—the only high school graduation she's doing this year. Her speech was wonderful, and she handed out the diplomas, hugging each graduate as he or she crossed the stage. What a special thing for those kids. Even if they aren't fans of the president, I still think that's a great and memorable thing they'll always be able to talk about. 

Anything cool going on in your life these days?