1DoH: Thanksgiving!

Matt and I were so excited about our five-day Thanksgiving holiday--a grand continuation of the holiday season and a kickoff to the beautiful Christmas season that is made extra-special this year by it being "Baby's First Christmas." Christmas is only 26 days away... which means this past Thanksgiving week started with the 61st of the "100 Days of Holidays," and began like any other, before we got into the turkey-laden festivities later in the week.

61) Monday 11/23: Before bedtime tonight, I read Kate my favorite childhood book: How the Alligator Missed Breakfast. It is hilarious in its insanity. This book was the start of my theory that most kids' books and TV shows were conceived with the assistance of some illegal substance.

62) Tuesday 11/24: After a Tuesday that felt like a Friday, we kicked off the Thanksgiving weekend with our annual joint Thanksgiving service between Bethlehem and Hickory Point UMCs. Hickory Point always does a great job with their altar decoration. I swear, my favorite part of Thanksgiving is getting to sing "For the Beauty of the Earth"--one of my favorite hymns.

63) Wednesday 11/25: We drove up to my parents' house in Louisville, eating at IHOP on our way out of town (and declaring it a new family tradition, since we ate there before heading to Louisville in July too). Kate enjoyed a whole "new" box of toys filled with my old stuffed animals and toys.

64) Thursday 11/26: Thanksgiving!!! Kate donned her "Baby's First Thanksgiving" bib and ate a dinner entirely of table food (which I am always tempted to call "people food"): turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, peas, and carrots.

65) Friday 11/27: My high school class finally had its belated 10th reunion. It was a small crowd, but given that our class only had 21 graduates, what can we expect? We had fun touring the renovated upper school building and going out to dinner. Amazing how some things change and some things are totally the same!

66) Saturday 11/28: Kate celebrated her 10 month birthday by learning to climb stairs!

67) Sunday 11/29: Advent has begun, and our family lit the first candle on the advent wreath (in the absence of the family that was originally asked to do it). Ironically, my parents lit the advent wreath at their church today too!

A blessed advent to you all, filled with joyful carol-singing, cookie-baking, present-wrapping, tree-trimming fun... and hopefully some reflection on the birth and life of Jesus Christ as well!

Wordless Wednesday -- So Thankful

My Guilty Pleasure

Though I work in religious publishing and have a bachelor's and master's in religion, I have to (begrudgingly and with my head ducked in shame) admit that books about theology, spirituality, and even church and church history (my main interest professionally and academically) are not among my favorite reads. I am very proud of the books I edit, and I feel strongly that they can change people's lives and the church, and there are books I read in college and grad school that definitely shaped the way I understand religion in America.

But for pleasure, these are not the books I stay up late into the night reading.

I know. How can I even show my face in public?

The books that I love and am not ashamed to admit I love are sociology and psychology-type books. Things that explain why people do the things they do--why things are the way they are. Favorites in these genres include Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point and Blink (he has two more recent books out that I still need to read), Dan Ariely's Predictably Irrational, Barry Schwartz' The Paradox of Choice, Daniel Gilbert's Stumbling on Happiness, and Barbara and Allan Pease's The Definitive Book of Body Language. (That last book has the definitive honor of helping Matt realize he never had to read these types of books himself because I will read every other sentence aloud to him, as I did with the body language book throughout our trans-Atlantic flight home from our honeymoon in 2006.)

These are the books that I mention again and again in conversations about consumer behavior, personal satisfaction, interpersonal relations, etc. They are absolutely fascinating to me and I recommend them highly. However, these are not the books I would refer to as "my guilty pleasure." For that, we move beyond "why things are the way they are" to "things I hope never happen to me."

Perhaps it's a sick case of schadenfreude, but I am addicted to ripped-from-the-headlines memoirs of personal tragedy. Given that I am not at all an Oprah- or reality TV-junkie, this reading habit feels strangely out of character for me, and I feel ashamed to admit how entranced I am by this kind of book. I think it is somehow akin to my love of really bad natural disaster movies (if it has cultural landmarks being toppled by giant tornadoes, asteroids, or tidal waves, I am so there). I am ashamed of that guilty pleasure too.

It started several years ago, I think, when I found Bringing Elizabeth Home and Let's Roll on deep discount tables (since I refuse to spend much money on these kinds of books). Recently, I joined Bookswim, which is essentially Netflix for books, so now I have library-style access to tons of books AND I don't have to find room for them on my shelves when I am done with them. So, I feel freer to order books that I am curious about but don't necessarily want to have around forever. I've read After Etan (and blogged about it), and coming up soon is For Laci (about Laci Peterson). Just this past week, I read Mistaken Identity, about that case where the family cared for their daughter in a coma for five weeks before finding out it wasn't actually their daughter. Even though you know the big twist from the beginning, I couldn't put this book down, and finished it in just two evenings.

Obviously, I am not alone (since these books seems to sell pretty well, if their publicity is any indication), but I still feel slimy just talking about these books because they are so sensationalistic, capitalizing on tragedy. I'll admit that part of the appeal is sheer curiosity--the same suspense and intrigue that make 48 Hours, CSI, and various blockbusters so popular--but I think there is something else that appeals to me in these books. It's also curiosity, but not about the tragedy of kidnapping/hijacking/car crashes, etc. Rather, it is curiosity about these relatives who survive to tell the tales. How do they go on? How do they cope when they've lost a spouse? How do they go on living when their child is missing or presumed dead?

Some of these delve into theodicy, wondering why God would let these tragedies befall them. Some wrestle within themselves, dealing with blame, choice, and all the what-ifs the crises of life cam bring. Whether they address the overtly theological aspect or not, these books deal with hope and despair, and pretty much always come out on the side of hope. Maybe that's just because editors know that book-buyers want a happy ending, or because those who are in a stable enough place to write a book about their loss have to have learned to cope somehow, or maybe it is a testimony to the human spirit and the power of God to sustain people throughout the worst times of life.

I am a worrier--and one with an overactive imagination at that. I do think about all the what-ifs and wonder what I would do, how I would respond if it were me facing the horrible tragedies described in these books. Maybe what these books about tragedy really offer is hope--hope that I too could survive to see the grace of God and beauty of life even through immense pain and loss.

1DoH: Pilgrims and Turkeys

This "100 Days of Holidays" endeavor may usually just be a glimpse into our ordinary life, but another actual holiday is fast-approaching: Kate's first Thanksgiving! Uncomplicated by gifts, consumerism, and theological v. cultural understandings of the holiday as Christmas is, Thanksgiving is just such a nice time for gathering with family and expressing gratitude.

This past week was pretty ordinary, but in little ways, we were gearing up for the fun family time we'll have next (this) week.

54) Monday 11/16: These little pilgrim candle guys make me so happy. My mom always set them out on the shelf above the toilet in the house I grew up in, and while she reminded me that their annual post was in the kitchen in our "new" house (which we moved into in 1994) I still associate them with the bathroom. So, as you can see, they have their place up with the jars of Q-tips and cotton balls in our house now. 55) Tuesday 11/17: This little gal makes me so happy too--in the bathroom or out. We love to play every evening when I get home from work.

56) Wednesday 11/18: This is as good a time as any to admit that the pics I post for each day were not always taken on that day. This was my "gift" to Matt for his birthday, which is actually tomorrow (11/19) and which we celebrated last Saturday (11/14). He's getting a blog makeover, and I constructed this little paper laptop to share that news with him! Soon, The Truth as Best I Know It will have a cool, new, non-template look!

57) Thursday 11/19: Tearza came over to hang out and play with Kate for a while this evening. Kate is very excited to meet her new little friend Emery sometime in January!

58) Friday 11/20: Matt and I went to see Donald Miller and Susan Isaacs at the second-to-last stop on their book tour. Matt is currently reading Miller's A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, and we read Isaacs' Angry Conversations with God in our young adult book group this past summer. Actually, we read Miller's Blue Like Jazz in a young adult book group we led at our previous church, so they're both great for group discussion.

59) Saturday 11/21: Some friends of Matt's parents gave Kate this fun turkey. Isn't he cute? I couldn't get Kate to hold still for a photo with it, but Charlotte was quite compliant. :0)

60) Sunday 11/22: Matt had been sick for a few days, and his voice was pretty rough, so he wanted me to deliver his sermon for him on Sunday. I agreed, but Sunday morning, Kate's sniffles were getting worse, with a super-drippy nose and a phlegmy cough, so Matt (with slightly improved voice) did his own sermon and I kept Kate home. She played with a matryoshka and a singing penguin while I started packing for our jaunt up to Louisville for Thanksgiving!

Next week: Thanksgiving, of course! I'm excited for Kate to eat mostly table food at the big meal--little bites of turkey, peas, roll, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie... mmm...

My Delivery Advice for First-Time Moms

In honor of my friend Tearza, who will soon deliver sweet baby Emery, I want to share a few lessons I learned from my limited experience in baby-delivery and the aftermath.

First a few warnings/disclaimers:
1. If you are a man, or are at all squeamish about body stuff, stop reading now. Unless you are about to give birth, in which case, you better get over it.
2. I hate it when people universalize their experiences, so I am not implying these things will definitely happen to you, and even if I seem to be, it’s just for rhetorical effect. But if they do happen, it’s nice to know you’re not the first person they’ve ever happened to.
3. These are roughly in the order in which you might need the info. You know, in case you want to check my blog again and again throughout your labor and recovery. Just kidding :0)

Here we go:

1. Pack smart for the hospital—comfy button-up jammies, something to pass the time, toiletries, and snacks (that’s the one thing I forgot, and the hospital food was gross—and I’ll eat just about anything!)
2. They are not afraid to send you home if you go to the hospital too early. Better safe than sorry, of course, but it seems like they’re pretty hard core about this. My contractions were less than a minute apart and painful, and they were still about to send me home because I wasn’t dilating fast enough. (Refusing to leave and asking to speak to supervisors does help in a situation like that, though!)
3. Epidurals are awesome. If you feel personal pride in enduring massive amounts of pain, by all means, go for it. I’m surprised I wasn’t one of those people, because I really do think that’s cool and “no pain, no gain” sounds like something I would say. But when it came to labor and delivery, I figured “no pain, no pain.” From the moment I got my epidural, I drifted peacefully in a super-relaxed sleep, and even dozed off between pushes. It was great.
4. Interventions aren’t ideal, but they’re not the end of the world. I—like most people—said “no vacuum, no forceps, no episiotomy, unless absolutely necessary.” Well, I ended up having all three, and while the vacuum made a scary noise when it kept popping off Kate’s head (too much hair to get a good hold), and the forceps left a mark on her cheek for her first 12 hours or so, and the episiotomy recovery was no fun at all, it’s really all fine and none of it marred our “birthing experience” in the least.
5. If you feel something weird down below, don’t panic and assume they sewed up your episiotomy wrong. It’s probably just a hemorrhoid. (Not that I made that assumption or anything.)
6. Don’t be in a hurry to leave the hospital. In those early days at home with Kate, when she was crying a lot, wouldn’t eat, and I was still physically recovering, I never longed for the days before baby, but I definitely longed for the days in the hospital, where professionals could help me out, were easily accessible for questions, and everything just seemed simpler. I seriously get all nostalgic every time I drive by the hospital. It was a special time (minus the bad food). Next time, I won’t be so eager to go home (except for the fact that the next time, I’ll have another child waiting at home, who I’m sure I’ll miss desperately!)
7. Don’t look “down there” for at least two weeks. Just don’t do it.
8. Your bathroom habits will be screwy for a little while. Things will come out when you don’t want them to and won’t come out when you do want them to. That’s as graphic as I’m going to get about that. (Unless you ask me in person, in which case I’ll tell all, because I have no TMI-sensor.)
9. It’s alright to cry. It’s pretty much inevitable. Most of my early tears stemmed from our nursing difficulties—frustration, sadness, fear for her health, and fear that she would associate me with those negative interactions. But whatever your reasons (or lack thereof) it’s okay.
10. Enjoy it. Take pictures of little things like the clock and the contraction monitor. Take note of what’s on TV and in the news the day your baby was born. Be sappy about it. It is the beginning of a completely new life—not just for your baby, but for you too.

Birthday Babe

29 years ago today, this little guy was born!

28 or so years later, he helped produce this little gal!

(They look a lot alike, don't you think?)


And they all lived happily ever after in a magical land filled with pacis and puffs.
Happy birthday, sweetie!

Wordless Wednesday -- Going, Going, Gone