Sillhouette

37 Weeks

One New Year's Resolution we know we can keep... have a baby!

I'm 37 weeks today, which is considered "full term." That means that while my due date is three weeks away, Baby would not be considered premature or unhealthy to be born any time now.

This pic is our 36 week (8 month) photo. I think my belly looks a little lower, but I don't think we can really say I've "dropped" yet. Our doctor said Kate's still pretty well up in there, though she is head down (as she has been for at least a month or so). My cervix is softening a little, Doctor says, but I am not dilated at all yet.

I was a little disappointed, I think, to not be at all dilated, but I know it doesn't really mean anything, since a person could be two centimeters at this point and then do nothing more for weeks, or a person could be totally closed (like me) and dilate a bunch very quickly.

Also mitigating my desire to have Kate soon is the realization that things are not as wrapped up at work as I would like. I started to panic midday Wednesday when I realized how my next work day would be Jan. 5 and that Baby could come any time! I need more time to get everything done!

So, I should just be patient and not wish her out any sooner. I'm so excited just to hold her and feed her and start the adventure of motherhood, but at the same time, pregnancy is such a special time and I'm not incredibly uncomfortable or anything, so there's no reason to wish it away. I'm not having great aches and pains or anything, just a lot of heartburn and continued nausea (so much for "morning" sickness being mainly just in the first trimester--I'm still getting sick twice a week or so!) but overall I feel pretty good!

We'll be ready for her whenever she wants to come, but until then, I'll be working hard, popping the TUMS, and sitting happily on my nest!

Anticipatory Grief

I've struggled with anxiety and depression off and on for years. I remember when a counselor once told me I suffer from "anticipatory grief," that is, I get irrationally upset about things that haven't even happened yet. In high school, it was anxiety over handling my finances as an adult and other random adult things that I didn't yet know how to do and was afraid I'd never learn.

I don't think I've succumbed to such irrational fears lately, but last night I had a little episode that I'll have to blame on pregnancy hormones. We were watching The Sound of Music on TV, and I kept noticing how Gretl looks a lot like my friend's little sister did back when I first met her. The little sister was in first grade when I met her, but now is a sophomore in college. As I lamented to Matt how I couldn't believe time had passed so quickly and how old we'd all grown, he commented, "yep, before you know it, Kate will be a sophomore in college too."

At that, I looked down at my pregnant belly... and actually started to cry. "She's going to leave us!" I wailed. She's not even born yet! I'm still sitting on the egg and crying about my empty nest! Matt consoled me and we both laughed (me through the tears) at my silliness, as I vowed to enjoy every minute of this child's life.

The years will go by all too quickly, I know.

Growing

I remember a day months ago when my weekly e-mail from parents.com or babycenter.com informed me that baby was about the size of a pencil eraser. I got so excited and gave Matt a little pink eraser as a "gift" to share the excitement about our growing little one.


It's hard to believe, now she's the size of a honeydew melon--possibly over 5 pounds and almost ready to make her grand entrance into the world!
Our due date is one month from today. Pregnancy has been so exciting and all-consuming, it's quite the reality check to realize that sometime in the next 2 to 5 weeks, she'll actually be OUT, in our arms, and we'll start our life as a family of three!

Are you rich?

Looking up an example for a book I'm editing, I found the following interactive web site:
http://www.globalrichlist.com/

Give it a try. As the Wall Street Journal said, this site is "almost guaranteed to cheer you up" in the face of the current economic crisis. As we bombard one another with "stuff" this Christmas, let us keep in mind and seek to serve the 88%, 94%, 97%, 99%, etc. who live day to day with much less than we.

34 Weeks

I'm 34 weeks now (almost 35) and the bun in the oven is rising splendidly! We can't believe how close we're getting to her arrival. Since one is technically full term as of 37 weeks (Jan. 2 for us) the time is definitely coming soon. I'm hoping she'll be just a little early for her Jan. 23 due date, but we'll see. The important thing is a healthy baby, of course, but pushing out a little porker obviously sounds more painful than a more svelte baby. (For the record, I was born two weeks early and weighed just over 5 pounds. Matt was two weeks late and weighed over 8.)

The nursery is pretty much ready, we've got enough diapers on hand for at least the first few weeks, and we're just excited to meet our little Kate!

Here's a little sneak peak into her world (our second round of 3D ultrasound pics). That's the placenta up against her forehead, and the cord under her chin. She looks pretty cozy in there, don't you think?

Overheard

... in the kids books section of Borders today...

MOM: Honey, stop that. Stop that, please. Honey, whose birthday are we celebrating at Christmas?

KID: Baby Jesus.

MOM: Do you think Baby Jesus would be happy with you pulling books off the shelf like that?

[kid is quiet for a few seconds, then pulls another book off the shelf]

KID: Can we get this for Baby Jesus?